Non-Canon/ Harris bin Potter and Diyanah’s Birthday

Harris bin Potter walked into The Great Hall one morning ready for a scrumptious breakfast of banana slices topped with Nutella. “MMMMM, sedap,” his stomach would have said if it could talk.

That was when he heard a commotion from the corner of the room. A group of girls, who have obviously been meddling with magic, were causing a ruckus. One of them was wearing a Panda suit, while the rest were donning impressively hirsute moustaches. For awhile, Harris thought he had inadvertently apparated to a school for children with special needs.

It was when they shouted in unison, “Happy Birthday, Diyanah!” that Harris realised that it was the birthday of Diyanah Mustapho’. Diyanah was one of the more well-liked kids in Hog-Tak-Halal-What, despite some students thinking that her family name was a unique variation of a Vietnamese dish. Harris thought she was nice – she once helped him complete his History of Magic homework while he was off fighting the Malaysian monster Troll Rempit.

He approached the group of girls – noticing a few familiar faces.

“Hi Munira,” he greeted the pretty, skinny Indian girl closest to him. “Without you, I wouldn’t exist,” he stated, making no sense in the canon of Harris bin Potter, but making perfect sense in the real world.

“Hi Natasha,” Harris said to the girl next to Munira. “Love the hair.”

He turned to the girl wearing a Panda suit. “GRRRRRR HHHRRRGGGHHHH AAAARRGHHHHHH,” he growled. It was Panda for, “Hey Sonia, you look retarded.”

He then smiled at the other girls there – all of whom he did not know personally. “Hey ladies!”

“Hi Diyanah,” he said finally, smiling at the birthday girl. He then whipped out his satay stick – Natasha snickered – and chanted, “Kek Cawan, Siol!”

A solitary cupcake appeared. It was a delicious vanilla cupcake with generous bits of cookie dough in it, and drenched in decadent chocolate syrup. Harris bin Potter presented it to Diyanah.

“Happy birthday gurrrllll!” he said, fully aware that he sounded stupid doing so.


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